Like LGBTQ2S+ people ourselves, our grief is powerful and sacred. I dream of a world where we feel equipped to take hold of its transformative potential, directing it to more revolutionary ends. I dream of a world where we all feel supported to embrace grief’s wild unruliness and myriad expressions and where no one asks us to deny it or box it in.
Read MoreMany LGBTQ2S+ people connect with ourselves and others through pleasure, eroticism, our bodies and our senses. We bring creativity, playfulness, ritual and sacredness to these experiences, which can be spaces of healing, discovery and enjoyment. While not everyone wants or needs to bring these facets of queerness to dying or mourning, for others they’re a vital part of imagining a fitting death or the process of moving through grief.
Read MoreWe know how to advocate for ourselves and each other in the face of systemic and institutional gaps, failures, barriers and harms and are skilled at building community-led alternatives to those systems and institutions, often with limited resources. My hope is for us to become more capable of intentionally applying these skills to death and dying as a means of enacting our self-determination, resisting oppression and caring for ourselves and each other.
Read MoreAs a community, LGBTQ2S+ people are skilled at understanding and articulating who we are and what we care about, navigating systems not designed for us, maximizing pleasure while reducing harm and forming networks of care and kinship to help us survive. These are all skills and knowledge that can be applied to end-of-life planning—even if you haven’t thought about this stuff before, you’re starting from a place of strength.
Read MoreThere’s something inherently creative about being queer—that’s why it’s a noun and a verb. We’re adept at the work of imagination, transformation and creation. We defy norms and stereotypes throughout our lives as we make and remake our identities, families and communities to reflect the visions we hold for ourselves and how we want to live. I brought this spirit into the experience of losing my mom.
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